Orange Aid

The conditions at the Cave have been remarkably good this winter, and the team arrived at the Cave with the prospect of only a few wet holds on their desired routes. Despite the damp, the dirt, and the choss the enthusiasm of Team Orange reigned supreme and progress was made on the familiar redpoint burns. Mayan, sporting the aforementioned orange pants, became even more familiar with Let There Be Bolts, Derek looked much stronger on Space Boy, gaining a one-rest ascent, and Gomez bumbled away on Urge, finally managing to be one with the pigeon guano and gain some semblance of a rest on the cramped rest ledge. It was left though, to Jason Campbell look-a-like Martin to bust out the rad send of the day. He delivered by oozing his hardest ever sport route (bolted boulder problems not withstanding) with Superglue (26). The realisation that missing clips is both necessary and fun was a valuable lesson learnt by Martin, leaving him in good stead for future whipper action.

With the departure of Mayan (and the orange pants) to attend a ‘hippie convention’, Friday looked bleak for psyche. The weather was plain nasty and projects were put on hold while the weather did its thing. All members, bar Martin who was so overcome with sport climbing excitement he didn’t see the flu sneak up on him, reflected on their failures the day before and came to the only logical conclusion: they needed to wear more orange clothing. Despite the doom and gloom, excitement was reaching new levels as the arrival of Hamiltonian ring-in Stewhan grew closer. Stewhan had been granted local status last year, but after a long-term misdiagnosed broken wrist injury had not returned from Hamilton this year. Now fully fit and with a screw in his wrist, Stewhan was venturing again into the world of rock climbing obsession. Fresh from a rare ascent of the Roland Foster classic El Topo (28) at Whanganui Bay, Stewhan was ready for a return to form.

Saturday arrived with more heinous weather, but the enthusiasm of the rock-starved North Island lad meant another visit to the Cave was on order. The team arrived to the sound of drilling as old-school troglodyte hard-men Kaz and Ivan bolted yet more new projects to campus on. The industrious activity spurred our orange-clad heroes to greater levels of effort, and with some industrious techniques of his own, Derek was able to remove the moisture from the crucial resting pod on Space Boy. Meanwhile Gomez got ridiculously close on Urge, the normally bomber anchor-clipping heel hook blowing out on him. Stewhan was so excited he didn’t know what to do, so he got on Hung Like Elvis of all things. The perpetually soaked crux holds brought him back down to earth, so he instead cruised a repeat ascent of Urge. In doing so he became the first to climb the route with the spanny and dynamic ‘Gomez beta’, and thereby proving to Gomez that he was indeed being soft that day, despite a record number of attempts on the route. Martin, having despatched Superglue two days earlier, was faced with the epic task of a new project, and steadily began working out his beta for Urge.

The ‘what’ send of the day was left to Derek however, who bagged his biggest number ever with a very determined ascent of Space Boy (31). When getting to the famous final clipping hold and redpoint crux of the route he looked solid, but wilted after clipping the missed draw at knee level in order to avoid a ground fall while attempting to clip the anchors. In a show of determination he gathered himself and after briefly shaking out was able to hang on and make the final clip. This was a rare enough send to make any week special, but with the weather on the improve the limestone beckoned and the excitement only increased.

The next day dawned blue and beautiful and the healthy members of the team decided to make the trek up to Flock Hill. Armed with a newly-acquired fluorescent orange road-workers’ ‘sending-vest’ the scene was set for serious sendage. Despite trying hard all day, Stewhan and Gomez again failed to send a problem of appropriate radical-ness and it was left to Derek. While Stewhan made steady progress on Hipster, a picturesque arete established earlier in the year by visiting Australian Julian Saunders, Derek was transfixed by the holds even lower down on the boulder, and promptly began working out the moves for a sit start to the problem. Derek eventually sent the problem in good Team Orange style, with a big dynamic throw for the original start hold while his feet cut off and swung uncontrollably. The day culminated in send mode, as the boys found yet another rad overhanging prow to play on, and after a quick-fire cleaning effort there was just enough light left for Derek to unlock the strange moves on Orange Aid. Although a very tiring outing, any day spent amongst the fabulous Flock Hill boulders can only be described as magical.

The next day held an early start as Derek, Stewhan and Gomez travelled south to meet Mayan at Beautiful Valley. Mayan had been storing up psyche while at the hippie convention and practically ran up the hill and through the mud to the large limestone buttresses, while the others lagged behind searching for reserves of energy not consumed on the previous days. Mayan warmed up with a stylish onsight of End Of An Innocence (23), while Stewhan and Derek eyed free aerials on The Shrine. However, it soon became clear that Team Orange would struggle for a rad send this day. Stewhan sat out the morning, soaking up the sun for his solar-powered psyche. While Gomez also attempted to embrace the warmth, it only served to inflame his vaginitis as he took a big whipper on an old rusty home-made hanger off his steep ‘warm-up route’, Kiss My Piranha. Despite using even more twist-locks on his second attempt, Gomez again pumped out and called it a day. Derek, having propped up the team for the past few days, tried to conserve energy by skipping a warm up and jumped straight on The Shrine, only to catch the deadly ‘flash-pump induced vaginitis’ and spend the rest of the day belaying and taking photos. Mayan did her best for the team in attempting to unlock the sequence on Premature Evaluation, but the heat and the promise of a chance on Dreamweaver the next day conspired to stymie any chance of a send. The team was rescued from mediocrity however, as Stewhan busted out a very rad send of The Shrine (28), using multiple free aerial and aggressive float manoeuvres, then confidently taking a shakeout ‘rest’ on the smallest holds of the route before topping out to glory.

After a frigid night camping at an undisclosed and very shady location near Raincliff, the team headed to Hanging Rock the next morning for breakfast in the sun. The day warmed quickly and it soon became clear that it was going to be far too hot for Mayan to attempt the extremely thin moves on Dreamweaver until early evening. With Derek playing paparazzi and Stewhan bewildered by his first attempt on Dreamweaver, it was left to Gomez to overthrow the clutches of gravity, resist the temptation to bust out any more ‘F.T.L.’s, and gain a quick ascent of the Hanging Rock groove classic Poison To Poison (23). It was then declared that no more routes could be climbed without the aid of vast quantities of ice cream. The team headed to Pleasant Point where they found not only ice cream but also a remarkable one-dollar bargain bin containing packets of valuable sending cookies.

Candy-in-hand the team headed back to Hanging Rock for a serious afternoon of fat burning. Stewhan and Gomez both soon managed to interpret the previously indecipherable Pretty in Pink (24), the two oversized climbers thankful to bypass the small crimpers of the Pretty in Punk variation. Despite their considerable mass and the added weight of litres of ice cream in their bellies, neither climber managed to dislodge the large creaky flake at the start of the route, which both used to launch into a burly sideways dyno. With the sun setting and a beautiful orange glow filling the river valley, Mayan again attempted the delicate Dreamweaver face. However, the unseasonably hot day had left the rock hideously greasy and despite her best efforts, Mayan could only succeed in ripping three tips in falling from the crux several times. Stewhan bolstered the days achievements with a last minute send of Gripton Factor (25), a route that had consistently eluded him during a day when he made two successful attempts on the nearby Protoplasm (29) the previous year. With the weather forecast dubious, the team put off any further adventures and headed back to Christchurch putting trust in the ‘Castle Hill Window’ to rescue their climbing activities from the threat of the oncoming southerly front.

Wednesday arrived with dubious weather everywhere so the Cave was again relied upon as a haven from the wet. The day got off with a hiss and a roar as Mayan reached a new high point on Let There Be Bolts when she was “just warming up”. Gomez again came close on Urge but was this time stymied by wet and soapy final holds and so resorted to dogging routes far beyond his abilities. Derek jumped back on Space Boy, eyeing up the moves of Kaz’s grade 32 extension, and managed to do the whole thing with just one rest in the middle. Martin was fully recovered from his illness and again went to work on Urge, quickly working out for himself the bulk of the route for which everyone seems to have a different sequence. With the time for his departure looming, Stewhan ignored the problems of a fifth day straight climbing and made good attempts on Bogus Machismo, Gorilla Grip and Let There Be Bolts, coming very close on all but succeeding on none. The team arrived home that day with no rad send to report, but were saved late in the evening by Mayan, who gained the second ascent of the classic Sandwich Rd under table traverse longways (unconfirmed V16).

The storm hit the next day, but with Stewhan leaving early the next morning all trust was put in the ‘Castle Hill Window’ and the team headed inland through the sleet. Sure enough, faith was rewarded and blue skies awaited on the far side of Porter’s Pass. Quantum Field looked damp so it was bypassed for Dry Valley where the sun gleamed off the boulders. Unfortunately, shortly after arriving at the top of the boulder field the rain burst through the weather window. The team refused to let their spirits be dampened however, and marched over the escarpment to check out the alluring but distant headwall boulders. These are blocks that have detached from the scarp and rolled down the back of the north facing slope, hidden to all but the adventurous few who make it to the top of the hill. After several wet hours exploring possible new lines the team’s tenacity was rewarded as the sun and blue sky emerged and the Dry Valley boulders quickly dried. With precious few hours remaining, the weather gift was not to be spurned by any excuses of ‘sixth day on vaginitis’ and all members of the team threw themselves at their designated projects. This was when the spirit of the team shone through, it seemed on this day that success or failure in terms of topping out a boulder was less important than giving everything to make the most of an unlikely day in the best of company.

Of course, that is not to say that there was a lack of rad sends, as that is also the essence of Team Orange. Derek busted out the first ascent of the incomprehensible sit start to Cosmic Energy, a problem that most people try to jump-start. Stewhan bagged the first ascent of Yo-Yo, the project just uphill from Concept of the Good, and one that was tried unsuccessfully by the strong American visitors in March. Meanwhile, Gomez overcame his inept footwork to succeed loudly on several moderate yet long-term projects of his own, both of which involved heart-stopping moments for his spotter. He could not have done so without some inspiration from Martin, who flashed the first of these problems, showing him exactly how to smear. Martin and Mayan worked very hard on Singular Objective, while neither bagged an ascent, both have been bouldering long enough to know that any day spent giving everything to a boulder problem is not wasted, gaining both mental and physical strength from the experience.

Perhaps the most determined and difficult send of the week came early the next morning, when Gomez managed to get out of bed at 6am (he didn’t realise the world even existed at 6am), to take Stewhan to the airport. Luckily, he was able to return to bed afterwards and sleep until his normal waking time of eleven. Stay tuned for Team Orange's next adventure when Stewhan plays host and the team are reunited to take the North Island by storm with their brightly coloured attire.


Images (from top):
Mayan on Dreamweaver
Gomez, Stewhan and Derek at Flock Hill
Stewhan on Hipster
Derek on Hipster
Mayan on Dreamweaver at Hanging Rock
Gomez on Pretty in Pink at Hanging Rock